The Knowledge Bowl
by LynstHolin
Summary: Fluffy Dramione. In the First Hogwarts/Beauxbatons Knowledge Bowl, Draco and Hermione end up competing against each other instead of the other team.


Warnings: mild suggestiveness and language

...

"Welcome to the First Hogwarts/Beauxbatons Knowledge Bowl, everyone, whether you're here in the Hogwarts Common Room with me or listening to me on the WNN," Lee Jordan announced. "On the Beauxbatons side, we have Gabrielle Delacour, Jean-Luc de la Mare, and Francois St. Cyr. From Hogwarts, my Hogwarts, we have Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, and, as fanciable as she is brilliant, Miss Hermione Granger!"

The competitors sat at two tables angled toward each other. Draco and Hermione were having a fierce, whispered argument at the Hogwarts table as Theo rolled his eyes. A moderator stood at a podium between the two teams. He put his wand to his throat to amplify his voice. "Let the Knowledge Bowl begin." The spat continued. Hermione poked Draco in the chest with her forefinger. "Ahem. Ahem. Your attention please. Malfoy and Granger. MALFOY AND GRANGER." The squabbling duo quieted. "Thank you for letting me interrupt your charming little tête-à-tête. Our first question, for ten points. What is Barnabas the Barmy infamous for?" Six hands slapped their buzzers, nearly simultaneously. "Mademoiselle Delacour!"

"For trying to teach ballet dancing to trolls."

"Correct! For twenty points, what is the main use of flobberworm dung?"

Hermione hit her buzzer first. "Getting rid of hiccups!"

"I'm sorry, Miss Granger, that is a secondary use, and, frankly, it's a cure worse than the problem. The main use of flobberworm dung is to repel dragon lice. Minus twenty for Hogwarts."

"I told you to let me do all the potions questions," Draco hissed.

"Well, I never agreed to that," Hermione said huffily.

"For thirty points, what is the name of the witch who tried to kill Salazar Slytherin, and why did she do it? Mr. Malfoy?"

"Zenobia the Angry, and she did it because he stole her favorite socks."

"I'm sorry, that's only half-right. Zenobia the Angry was angry because Slytherin used a fork improperly."

Hermione kicked Draco on the ankle. "You know I'm better at history than you are!"

"But it was Slytherin history!"

Theo Nott shook his head. Hermione, who was looking a little flushed, pulled the front of her robes open, showing more of her crisp white blouse and pleated uniform skirt.

"For forty points, what form did the Patronus of Genevieve d'Arcy, co-counder of Beauxbatons, take?"

The French competitors scowled and whispered amongst themselves when Draco hit the buzzer first. "Her Patronus took the form of a white crested duck," he said.

"That's forty points from Hogwarts. It was a Roman tufted goose." The moderator squinted at Draco and Hermione. "You two were chosen as the best of the best? Really?"

Hermione started kicking Draco again. "Ow! Enough!" Draco put his hand on her knee to stop her; when he touched bare flesh, they both gasped and went stiff, pulling away from each other like they'd been shocked.

"Would you two just get a room?" Theo moaned, his head in his hands.

"For fifty points, what happens if you add powdered moonrock to a potion and then stir counter-clockwise? Miss Granger?"

"It makes your nose vanish."

"No, I'm sorry. It implodes your cauldron and causes it to disappear into a parallel universe. Dumbledore called you the brightest witch of your age. If that's true, I fear for your generation."

"Dammit, Granger, what is wrong with you?" Draco said, leaning forward to glare at her.

Hermione glared back. They were practically nose-to-nose. "What's wrong with _you_?"

"I'm pretty sure I know what the problem is, and how to cure it," Theo muttered. He was ignored.

The next question wasn't even completely out of the moderator's mouth before Draco hit the buzzer. "Ah, all right, Mr. Malfoy, for sixty points, what is the creature called the Kelpie's Ass known for?"

"Speaking of arses..." Hermione said under her breath.

"For being stubborn?"

Hermione hit her head on the table. "Speaking of stubborn arses..."

"No, the Kelpie's Ass is known for saving drowning sailors."

"I could say a few things about your arse, myself," Draco muttered to Hermione.

"_What_?"

"I mean, I could call you... oh, never mind."

Theo had his hands covering his eyes. "Please, please, _please_, would you two just shag already and put the rest of us out of our misery?" His voice loud with exasperation, and the watching crowd tittered. Lucius Malfoy turned red.

The moderator cleared his throat. "Ah, could we finish the Bowl, first?"

"Ooh, I sense some sexual tension between Malfoy and Granger," Lee Jordan announced. He managed to duck a hex Lucius sent his way.

"For seventy p-" BZZT! "Yes, Miss Granger?" The moderator drawled sardonically. "Going to answer a question I haven't asked yet? All right, then, what do you suppose the answer is?"

"But-but you have to tell me the question!"

"Oh? Fine. What non-magical creature are Nifflers most closely related to?"

"Um, moles?"

"No, they are a mutation of the duck-billed platypus. I'm beginning to suspect that you and Mr. Malfoy are both drunk. For-" BZZT. Draco had hit the buzzer. The Moderator turned purple. "_That's it_." He stalked out of the Great Hall.

"And that's all for the First and Last Hogwarts/Beauxbatons Knowledge Bowl," Lee Jordan announced.

Hermione jumped up and ran for the door with Draco in hot pursuit. He caught up with her in the hallway, grabbing her by the back of her robes and spinning her around. "What was that all about, you addled Muggle-born?"

"What about you, you inbred, cousin-marrying Pureblood?"

"Astoria's only my second cousin, and we're not even married yet! And she's better than that ginger oaf you're engaged to, who's also an inbred Pureblood, for your information."

The audience started leaving the Great Hall. They swirled around Hermione and Draco, staring and whispering and laughing. Except for Lucius, Ron, and Astoria, all of whom looked very angry; the three of them were now bearing down on Hermione and Draco. "We're in trouble. Let's get out of here." Draco took her by the arm.

Giggling, Hermione followed him at a run. "Where are we going?"

"_Out_." They dashed through the Entrance Hall and into the autumn night. A breeze blew russet and gold leaves around them and made their robes billow.

"Where are we going?" Hermione asked, a bit breathless. Her hair shone in the light of the full moon.

Draco stopped, swinging her around in front of him. "Do you think that maybe Nott had a point?" He pulled her close. "Maybe we should-"

"Just one kiss," Hermione said.

"Just one kiss." He leaned in and covered her lips with his.

It was just one kiss, but it lasted a very long time.


End file.
